I hate what my universe is right now. All the energies that extend from me to the rest of it. I don't want to talk to these people or do any of these things. I want the light to reside somewhere besides my own house. I want it out of my eyes. I want none of this. I want none of these senses. It is all 'I' because no one else should ever feel this way. I had horrible nightmares. I can't even bear to open my mouth and I want to share nothing. It's all nightmares.
6 comments:
I don't want you to feel that way, Bird. I would be happy to take your misery off of your hands. Just think, when you get sad we can meet up and do some sort of secret hand shake and VOILA! Now I will be the sad one. But that's okay, because I have a bottomless pit inside my heart where I hide things. Of course sometimes there's a tremor and things gurgle up. Next thing you know you're drinking old white wine and crying at Brian Johnson. I can handle this responsibility if I know that my dear Bird will be in a better place that way. I love you.
I hate drinking white wine and crying at Brian Johnson. There's no one I hate more to cry at! I'd really love to spend some time with you when I am not working or sleeping. Maybe tomorrow if you're free.
birdie, a fewfewfew months, ok? i am at work now, in my box and the bartender getting ready outside was playing natalie merchant or something worse...if the song "thank you" comes on i think i will begin to cry. now it sounds like eddie veder but slowed down acoustic style WITH a mandolin. whywhywhywhywhy??? you are here laughing with me though. call me.
we're all fucked.
this is a thought that runs through my head daily.
don't be mad at yourself because you're introverted. you shouldn't feel expected to be anything. it's totally ok to lock yourself in your room and feel sad.
For the record, I feel healthy regarding the level of isolation which I choose. Still, it is difficult to deal with times when I've become disenchanted with all of my surroundings. It is difficult to not blame myself for that.
But yeah I really shouldn't feel expected to be anything. That makes sense to me.
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