Friday, April 23, 2010

Mean things we said to each other today:

"Get your fat ass up and let's go."

"I ate too much, I'm fat again, and I need to change"
"I know you do - into something less slutty"

"I'm glad you were never my boyfriend; you're gross!"

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

All the times I have almost broken an almost one hundred year old instrument, is it all really going to happen?

Is some of it going to happen? All of the very best things, as intensely and the most filled with magic as is possible?

I have this overwhelming sensation that all of my hopes will become moments and movements.

I am a little exhausted still today, but I can feel that already moving behind me. I am already so surprised to have travelled to the future so quickly and efficiently.

I must remember that we are living the part of our journey where everything is new every day, exciting every day, magic, refreshing, inspiring, your-toes-on-my-toes-making-my-eyes-water every day. The bad part - the unsure part, the awkward part, the heartbroken, dishonest, sad, I'm-still-searching-for-something-I-know-can't-be-found part happened before this. And as everything, it must come to an end - which we already experienced before the sad part, and made it all the way through, every day of our lives before it. Every day, all the way back to before we met. So for the rest of our days, we only have the magic to live. For the rest of our days, all the way back before we meet again.

Hopefully this way of looking at my life will prove infectious, affecting the arrangement of very many things' progression.

I want to listen to Eyehategod. I want to listen to the Rotary Connection.

Music I love every day forever from now on.

Making sure they know I love them. Knowing I could die happy tomorrow.