I don't know why I even want to go to Memphis so badly.

I want to be in a lake beside a mooooooountain

Swimming in Nickajack Lake beside Lookout Mountain, would I ever come back out, or would I go spelunking in underwater caves until I couldn't hold my breath anymore in hopes of finding something worth it?

Have you ever seen a male seahorse give birth? It's awesome.

Sometimes I get the idea that I don't really feel anything anymore.

For Thanksgiving I made for my father and I:
1. Spinach and chickpea salad with walnut vinaigrette dressing
2. Tri-Vegetable spiral pasta with ricotta cheese I made from tofu
3. Curry seitan and couscous
4. Tofurky roasted in sage with homeade gravy
5. Creamy sweet potato Punjabi-style soup

I hope this is what it is like at all of your families' houses today if you so choose to celebrate with them:

I am sexually frustrated, to be honest. Like, really. Like I can't hold a banana at work. Holding the banana at work is too much and I need someone else to do it for me.

Everything that is easy is hard

I really hope I can learn to make music I like. It's my livelihood and I'm just letting time pass by so quickly. Maybe I need to take a lesson from Patty Smyth (not to be confused with Patti Smith) on how to shred, shoot at the walls of heartache, and be the Warrior.

Sweat, all the boys I love, cold sweat, listmaking, and the immediate nausea when something bad happens

I just wonder about the people who are adjusted to the severity of the curious and twisted nature of the world. I wonder if they were born that way, and I was born this way, or if we're all exactly the same at first. It's just so hard to try and keep a good attitude about things when sometimes every single thing feels sad. When even the happy things seem sad, or their existence makes the sad things sadder.

I was originally going to link to a cool californian skate thrash band, but the importance of that in my mind is fleeting. Instead, look at these drawings by Kon Trubkovich. I really like this series for a lot of reasons.





I can't believe I might never see the bike I love again. I deserve that bike.